After Emilee’s Passing
Poem “It Began With Sun beams”
It Began with Sunbeams Lying in my bed Early morning Sunbeams on my face Sensing your presence Telling me it’s time To greet a new day Birds singing here a gleeful, there a melancholy tone Melodic mentions of sound intentions Some staccato Some lyrical Nature’s orchestra plays on luring my heart strings to be…
Read MorePoem “Spring Showers From My Eyes”
Spring Showers From My Eyes…. maybe it means I am starting a new phase of living on this earth, rising from the ashes trying to find what I am worth. as does the phoenix, that emerges from the fire, choking and with tearing eyes as it struggles to inspire. if I have learned anything in…
Read MoreDear Cancer
Dear cancer, I am not sure I really I want to talk to you. You took my Emilee, almost three months ago. Before that, you took my mom, with uterine cancer, 16 years ago. And Emilee’s friend who lived with breast cancer for five years, one of my brother’s friends when he was 25, it…
Read MorePoem “Panic Wave”
Panic Wave when dread of the unknown gets a grip and panic washes over: scared stomach tightens whole body tenses anxiety heightens breathing shallow difficult to take a deep breath start to panic breathing faster can’t get out of my skin no escaping thoughts of doom and shame all sense of self-esteem and confidence shrinking…
Read MorePoem “Eleven Lines”
you live in my heart my heart that beats 86,400 times a day and with each beat of my heart the resonance of your memory pulses pulses through me to share love to touch other’s hearts so they too can feel your love that is still alive I hear you in the wind I feel…
Read MoreCooking Class, Voices In My Head
I need to talk about the cooking class. It seemed like such a simple thing to do, register for a cooking class. Ten minutes away in a nearby town, it was close by and convenient. I registered about ten days ahead of time, put it in my phone calendar, and let it slip into my…
Read MoreYelling Into The Phone Can Be Cathartic
Yelling into the phone can be cathartic I was so involved in trying to find a therapist…I got excited when I found someone that sounds good on paper, and wrote her a brief… a brief…..ahem….synopsis of my current neural map…now to a lay person, that may be bizarre…hopefully she is used to reading convoluted hieroglyphic…
Read MoreSolitude and Gratitude, Continuing to Process Grief
Solitude and Gratitude I am used to talking to myself these days. When my wife WAS alive, she would often tell me I talked more to myself than I did to her. So I am used to talking to myself. There is a problem with that, however. I need interaction. My own voice just bouncing…
Read MoreLate Night Early Morning Musings
Stayed up listening to music all nite. Now I have to go to sleep…. Ha…it is 530am…birds are starting to chirp. Why am I up so late? Music, singing, songs making me cry….. is my rhythm off? Am I sabotaging something? I don’t know but I need to figure it out. Can’t stay up all…
Read MoreCancer World – Corridor at Smilow
Images and Feelings That Remain You know, something I have been meaning to write about was how I feel sometimes when I am walking through Smilow Cancer Hospital, especially on the fourth floor corridor from the Air Rights parking garage to the Smilow elevators. I have talked about the artwork on this corridor previously, but…
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