Emilee’s One Year Anniversary
I made it … well… it is kind of like something that is radioactive…if you get tooo close you are affected by it… that is how anniversary dates are… maybe it is more like a gravitational pull… when you get close you can feel the effect and immediately after as well…as as time ticks on, it is not as strong…as your space ship moves out of the influence of the planet, the gravitational pull is less… I am not sure yet about these analogies…. I am still breathing …that is all I know…
I went to a grief support group in the morning, then to a counseling session, then to the cemetery yesterday and read my poem called “Welcome Home”…..I sang one of my songs…. “Home To Your LOVE”…and I promised to deliver the painted rocks with names on it sooooooon….. my heart of pine cones is still visible under the snow…I visited with my step-daughter and the little adults who at times seem to know more than the adults..LOL..or at least they act that way… and I am very easily fooled…
I got seafood corn chowder from a place Emilee McDermott Klein used to like, and took it home and had that with my dinner while looking at the two roses I had bought…. I touched base with some friends and family… I had Emilee McDermott Klein riding shotgun by my side, whispering to me, all day…
I did a lot of laughing, some crying too, and especially was hysterical when I discovered that on my youtube recordings I could speed up or slow down the sound without overly distorting it… very interesting and did I say hysterical…OMG…really …I do amuse myself at times…
In spite of my emotions frequently being in my throat, I had a rather satisfying day with much joy mixed in with some sadness..
And that felt real and somehow very grounding and spiritual…
Carry on, thrust, parry and temper my foil
as Cyrano would wax eloquent and roil….
and so gallantly exclaim his deep love for Roxane his beauty
his tragic Juliet that just was not meant to be
grateful am I for my words and my voice
and my ability to feel my heart’s song, to have a choice.
and, as my feelings mix and swirl and churn,
thankful am I for my ability to continue to learn.
This is Neal Harvey…..good day!
May we all inhale peace with every breath we are blessed to take.