Neal’s Healing Process
Bike Story and Who
I came home on the last day of the workshop. I felt buoyed by the writing and the learning, encouraged by the friendships, and hopeful. The sting of abandonment inside my gut was not as strong as it was four days ago when the first class ended. I wanted to get outside and ride my…
Read MoreManhattan Then And Now
July 2017 The day I went into the city I switched from backpack to Em’s crescent bag. It was one of the things Emilee had left behind when she died. One of the things that I chose to keep and not give away. I thought I might use it, and I liked having things…
Read MoreThe First Time My World Changed
The Day My World Changed I was twelve. It was May 12, 1966, a Thursday. We had moved into this house eight months ago on my twelfth birthday. I walked the three quarters of a mile to the railroad station to meet my dad at around 6 p.m. so I could have some…
Read MoreMorning Musings 2
A few things about this morning. Some Realizations first. I am overly sentimental by most standards, but it feels just right to me. Tears are soooo much easier than they used to be, and no shame. I am proud that as a male I can cry when moved to. Emilee did that for me. Among…
Read MoreMorning Musings 1
Morning Musings 1 Stream of consciousness, free writing, whatever you want to call it…Just muscle through to the poem at the end. The prize in the cracker jacks box. We all want something to “hold on to”. I do anyway (even though I am continually learning about letting go). I was listening to the…
Read MoreAn Unwelcome, Unwanted Visitor
Death, An Unwanted Visitor When I was five I lived in an apartment building in Brooklyn, New York. For some reason I was alone for a few minutes in the apartment. I heard something in the hallway and looked through the peep hole in the apartment door. An older neighbor, in her mid-sixties, was…
Read MorePOEM – Uncertainty
Uncertainty in life seems to me to be very much akin to non-attachment, the idea that nothing is permanent, anything can happen, and I need to remain flexible if I do not want to be getting bent out of shape to the breaking point every time a strong wind blows. UNCERTAINTY (or HOLD TIGHT LET…
Read MorePOEM – My Heart Has Grown
MY HEART HAS GROWN Her soul forever with me I feel her in my heart Her body no longer present Her love within never apart She sees and hears and knows What I think and what I feel Sometimes I recognize the signs At times I’m not sure they’re real Her spirit now…
Read MorePOEM – I Choose To Believe
I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE Just as a tree is sure Its leaves will reappear, Time advances as our seasons Pass by with the years But I believe it doesn’t end With our last earthly breath And we peacefully transcend Into eternal present after death So although the body dies in many ways The soul…
Read MorePoem – Alone Or A Part
I wrote this on what would have been my mom’s 95th birthday, but is it to her? I don’t know. Is it to mother earth? I don’t know. Is is about being so lonely at moments it is excruciatingly painful? Is it a mix of things and feelings and thoughts? That much is certain. Happy…
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