Anesthesia

Anesthesia

A song comes to mind

Bye bye love, hello loneliness,

I think I am going to die, bye bye my love goodbye…

And so when I wake up from surgery, when it’s all over

There is this crazy, subtle at first, but lingering high

That seems to last along with the drugs in my blood

As feelings seem to be quick to surface and flood

And my eyes can easily well up

If I converse or even think very long about anything emotional

I imagine the drugs distort my filters and defenses

Which  heightens and possibly alters my senses

Like a child I ride and float on the wave

That rolls its way in time towards the shore

Where it flattens out, no longer a wave anymore

But peaceful water lapping the shores edge

Letdown after so close to a precipitous ledge

I was on the verge of a nugget of wisdom from Great Spirit

I wasn’t just riding a wave but I was the molecules in it

I was the wave for a teasing moment in time

I lost my self and the universe was mine

No not mine, I became as I once was

A part of it, back in the womb

Not separate but whole again

Held, embraced

No longer alone

A part, a piece of everything

Feeling I belong

Feeling I matter

What I am and what I have inside matters

That I am special

Because I come from creation

sharing life’s origins, part of the universal One

In this way I am connected to everything

and everything to me

after anesthesia, I’m amazed at what I see