A Grieving Stuffed Toy Rabbit and Me, Talk and Cry after Emilee is gone

Melon Callin’ Ya, AKA, Melancholia

Sometimes it is just …I don’t know…easier? to talk to a toy stuffed animal than it is to a person? I don’t know…sometimes it is easier to tell (shhhhh, I don’t want to offend any of them) a stuffed animal, what you are feeling, or what you need, or what hurts, or what you just can’t tell anybody else. Sometimes it is easier to cry, or sob, or yell and scream, or whisper, so just they can hear……yes… real animals are wonderful too, but for today, I am introducing you to sunny bunny, he is a twin, he is hanging with me today, or I am hanging with him…or, we are hanging together.

Awww…sunny bunny…not looking so sunny today…maybe take a walk…pull yourself up by your ears and take a walk…missing your favorite buddy?…awww…are you happy about this spring like weather?…a walk might put a little sprite in your step…spring weather?…a little nippy today

Weather…rhymes with feather…now that is lighter than I feel at the moment… ok..imaging…imagining…feather….light….floating….whisping around on a breath of wind… how sweet is that… as long as I don’t land and get scrunched….ooooh….stay with light floating thoughts..come on…I am sunny bunny…spring…happy….gardening… flowers…light….sunny….light and floating….breathing….air lifting me up….just have to keep kicking the rocks off my feet holding me down…..kick…kick…kick….atta boy.

Now…… skip…come on…skip…skip…defy gravity in between each step…just for a second…split second…feel that…feel that moment in between the steps…how to maintain that sense of lifting, lightness…free of gravity…if only for a glimpse … a glimpse of lightness…the feather floating…awwww…sunny…sunny bunny…come here…you just neeed to be held…let me hold you…no one else knows quite what you are feeling at this moment.

maybe the wind does…maybe the air, maybe the earth, the trees, the ground, the breeze, the sun, the sky……the touch of your feet as they roll heel to toe, the breeze in your hair, those deep breaths…ahhhh breathe…breathe with me sunny bunny…feel the air going in and out..that…that is life…right?…I know…I know…come here…let me hold you…it will…it willl…it willll…be okay

promise??

I do…i do…there…it’s okay…okay…okay to cry…dry your tears…or not…its ok…

ok to feel when you just need to…to let it out, let it in…just let it happen and trust it will be ok…let me hold you for a while.

 

Neal Klein
Life After Emilee, on the loss of my wife to pancreatic cancer. I’m not accepting comments right now but please <a

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